The Peace Corps bond

First, let me thank all of you who have written and called in response to my last entry. I'm sorry I haven't been able to write back. It's been a tough week for me, and I've been at a loss for words. The days go by, and I watch the posts on our Peace Corps Yahoo group flow in. We all feel devastated. We all feel lost.

By the time I returned to Fredericksburg last Wednesday, I had voice messages and e-mails from several volunteers, all of them wanting to know if I was ok. Peace Corps creates a bond between people that is about as close to family as you can get. We look out for each other, we love each other - even if we don't always get along.

On Saturday, I went to a Halloween party hosted by some of my Peace Corps friends. We spent most of the afternoon avoiding the elephant in the room. Other guests began flooding in - old college friends, coworkers - and the volunteers found ourselves drawn outside into a small circle to talk about Dave. In those moments, we talked about his death, but more often in conversations we talk about his life. We all have stories that make us laugh and allow us to remember him the way he would want us to.

Last night, I logged onto my instant messenger account for the first time in months and found waiting for me a message from him. Dated September 27: "Yo dude. You ever use this thing anymore?" His way of reaching out. I was in the Smoky Mountains then, I think. Is it so strange that I felt compelled to respond? "I love you. I miss you. Why didn't you tell me?"

Today I talked to Katie. She attended the memorial service and gave me the details of his death and his final words. They were so him that we sobbed together as she told me. He wrote that he'd found his way to peace. "When you find my body, use it to feed a tree."

Thanks again to all who've written. I'll be back to regular coverage as soon as I can.