The loss of a friend

I'm not sure how to begin this entry or whether I even should. I tend to be a pretty private person, so the most personal things stay out of my published writings. But I feel a great sadness right now, and writing about it always seems to help. I just wonder if posting it here is the right thing to do. But I created this blog to talk about my life, and this is a part of it.

 

Many of you know that during my first few months of Peace Corps, I was seeing another volunteer, David. Those of you on my newsletter will remember me talking about him a lot in the beginning and then not at all for the rest of my two years. It ended badly, what can I say? We started out as close friends, and the thing I missed most over the rest of my tour was that friendship. He seemed to get me in a way others did not.

 

But time heals all wounds. By the time I'd returned to the states, I had perspective on our relationship and was able to see my own mistakes as well as his. I was able to look back and remember a lot of happy moments, even if our friendship was now over.

 

Just before I started my hike, I got an unexpected e-mail from him. Just a hello and how are you, nothing earth-shattering. We corresponded back and forth for a few days, catching up on our lives. I wasn't really looking to become friends again, but I felt a certain peace and resolution to our relationship. Maybe that's what he was looking for too.

 

David committed suicide this week. I can't even begin to ask why. It's so overwhelmingly sad to think that he's not in this world anymore and that no one will ever really understand what happened. And just like anyone, I am left wondering if there was something I could have said or done.

 

This seems like a good opportunity to say how grateful I am for the friends and family I have. I love you all.

--
Amy E. Yates

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."
-Bokonon